009 - [Video]

[halfnhalf]

[With the knowledge of getting out of here soon looming on the horizon with no set date, Teddy's been thinking more and more about his home. The thought of seeing his friends again, his weird, pseudo-family, the tall buildings of New York City, the crowds of people... it makes him so, so excited to just hop on the next plane back home and say goodbye to this place for good.

At the same time, he can't really deny that Luceti's been... okay, for what it was. A glorified prison for glorified lab rats, a vacation house in the middle of a very pretty hell. Horrible things have happened here that Teddy would rather forget about. But, just as well, some pretty incredible things happened too. There are some things he doesn't really want to forget, although he wouldn't mind the alternative. Start the adventure all over again with Billy at his side through all of it – it sounds more and more appealing the more he thinks about it.

Which he's doing as he flips through his journal, looking back on not only his own past entries, but his friends as well. Birthdays, introspection, some rather embarrassing or plain hilarious things... It's all kind of nice to look back on, and he can't help wondering a few things, too. Might as well before the end, after all.

So he turns on the video, where he taps his Starkphone against his upper lip for a moment before he addresses everyone.]

So hey. Before we all go back – or not, for some of you guys, I wanted to ask something. What's the best memory you have of this place that you might wanna keep with you? It doesn't have to be the happiest or anything. Maybe it made you proud or relieved or whatever gave you feels. But there's got to be one little memory you're at least kind of fond of, right?

Or, you know... one of the best, if you don't want to talk about your favorite one. I get the privacy thing, it's cool.

[And... this will probably, hopefully, be his last post on this thing. He can't help thinking of that as he waits for responses, too.]

Comments

[selfhelp]

[You and your dumb jokes, bf. You're lucky he loves you. Billy muffles a groan against Teddy's neck, teeth gently grazing.]

Well thank god for that.

[halfnhalf]

Mmm. [He shuts his eyes, loving the feeling of what Billy's doing to his neck. And come on, Bee, you know you love Teddy's dumb jokes; why else are you engaged to him? Certainly not for his good looks or sweet nature.]

Yeah. This would be kinda awkward if it wasn't like that. [But, seeing how Teddy lifts his free hand to curl his fingers through Billy's hair, it's not awkward in the slightest.]

[selfhelp]

What, this isn't your standard form of greeting where you come from?

[Billy closes his eyes, enjoying the hand in his hair for a moment before reaching up and pressing his own hand against Teddy's chest. He pushes, leaning into it, trying to get them both down on the bed.]

Definitely awkward, then.

[halfnhalf]

Oh, yeah. [He says it while he lets Billy push him back, lets him guide him until his back is against the bed and his head is - well. Not against the pillow, as it's just above him instead. He'll fix that later, when he's not busy threading both hands into Billy's hair and spreading his legs to allow his boyfriend to fit between them, if he wants.] We definitely bite on each other's necks to say hi where I come from. Anything less is weird.

[selfhelp]

[Billy follows him down and settles in when invited, though it's more of a lazy body-pillow kind of cuddling than anything adventurous.

He does kind of bite Teddy's neck, though. Gently. But with a prompt like that, how could he not?]

Makes me feel a little better, then.

[halfnhalf]

[It feels more intimate like this anyway, with Billy so close to him while nibbling on his neck. Teddy ends up with a soft smile on his face as he keeps his eyes shut and lets his hands stroke through Billy's hair; he knows he's totally messing it up, but he just wants him to feel good right now, and he loves the feeling of Billy's hair in his fingers.]

Mmhmm. You're just saying a really long hello right now.

[selfhelp]

It's only because I don't want to say goodbye.

[It comes out less whimsically than he'd intended, bringing his thoughts back to what started all of this in the first place, and he pauses, resting his head in the crook of Teddy's neck and pondering upon it as Teddy strokes his hair. Memories... they've made a lot of good ones in this place. It's hard to believe they've spent three years of their lives here already.

And now...]

Do you think... we'll remember this, when we go back?

[halfnhalf]

[Teddy's silent for a moment at that. Remembering it all if they go back or not... The thought makes him take in a deep breath, then let it out in a long sigh, though he can't help noting with a twinge of amusement the way Billy's rises and falls with that breath.]

... I don't know. I was thinking about that earlier. We made a lot of good memories... but there's sure a lot I'd like to get pushed out of my head, too.

[The zombie attack. The Malnosso kidnapping them, torturing him, Billy going crazy... yeah. There are definitely a lot of things he'd rather not remember when they go back.]

[selfhelp]

...Yeah.

[He doesn't need to ask what Teddy means; there's plenty of bad days that come to mind, days he'd be happy to have completely wiped from his head when they go home.

Still... he glances down at the hand on Teddy's chest, where his ring is. The very ring that inspired their conversation in the first place. The promise of a future together, no matter what.]

I think, if it's all or nothing, I'd suck it up and take the bad with the good. There was enough good that it's worth it.

[He can't imagine forgetting that beautiful, perfect day under the cherry blossom trees, the hopeful light in Teddy's eyes as he asked the question they both already knew the answer to. Hell, he'd fight to keep it, if it came to that.]

[halfnhalf]

[Teddy taps his fingers against the back of Billy's neck, where his own ring fits snugly around one of them. Yeah... this is one of the good memories he'd fight to keep. One of them, at least. One of the... relatively few. This place hasn't been very kind to him, having not just once teased him with a family before yanking it away. Altered his history and things that were important to him... But at the same time, the good has been so good.

He's lost in thought for a moment, and then he gives a quiet little snort as he bumps his head against Billy's.]

How trippy is it gonna be, going back to sixteen and knowing all the stuff we fanboy is actually kind of real?

[selfhelp]

About as trippy as it gets, I think. Probably as trippy as being sixteen again and remembering what it feels like to be almost 20, actually.

[He can only imagine how weird that's going to be.]

[halfnhalf]

Babe, it's already weird being almost twenty. I'm actually looking forward to being young and stupid again.

[And he actually means that. Being in Luceti for so long almost feels like he was robbed his late teenaged years, and he'd love to get the chance to live them again in his own home.]

[selfhelp]

Hah... okay, yeah, good point. All these thoughts I keep having, about being an adult and figuring out my future? So not ready for that. Er, one thing aside.

[The whole being-engaged-and-being-with-Teddy-forever bit is just fine, obviously.]

[halfnhalf]

Yeah... same here, on all those points. I mean... we should be in college by now. We should've graduated and stuff. I keep feeling like we missed out on a lot of things that's required to be a teenager. It's hard to figure out a future when we have no idea what we're supposed to be doing now.

[... One thing aside, like Billy said, and Teddy silently brings that up by drumming his fingers against his neck again. That, at least, is something he's very sure of.]

[selfhelp]

God, seriously. I mean, I kind of missed that part of it? Graduating, the big send-off, feeling... I don't know, successful. And also scared of post-sec and picking major, instead of...

[He gestures vaguely.]

...all this. Dying horribly. Fighting some war we don't even understand. We fixed all that, sure, but it's not like we got to forget about it. Final exams? Exasperated teachers? The old routine of school-crime fighting-sleep? Seeing the team and my family again every day? That's what I want back.

[halfnhalf]

I want all of that, too. And more than that: I still miss the bustle of New York. I miss hearing all the sounds at night, I miss all those tall buildings that tourists look up at all the time. I miss fighting to get into the subway.

[He lets his voice turn a bit quieter, more musing, as he gently plays with the base of Billy's hair.]

I want to fly through the city and see all the lights on at night again. I want to fly outside of it and see the lights in the sky, our stars. I miss hearing planes fly in, cars trying to get from one place to another... I miss playing chess with the guys at the park. There's... a lot of things I want back.

[...]

I miss the internet. Like a lot.

[selfhelp]

[Billy groans, burying his face.]

That. All of that. Especially the internet bit. I have a list of things to Google about a mile long.

[So many things he wants to do when they get back- with Teddy, with his friends, with his family, god. Even stuff he just wants to do on his own. Go to the comic store. Hang out at the lair. Have dinner with his parents. Tell them-

Wait. Waaaaait. He sits up abruptly, brows lifting.]

If we go home without our memories... we won't even be engaged anymore.

[halfnhalf]

[Teddy lifts his eyebrows too, and... yeah. He'd thought of that during all the time they had after the announcement. If they didn't remember anything, they'd go back to having only dated for a few months, still new on the whole aspect of love, unsure if this was a thing that would last or just a fun few set of dates... It's hard to think about, either keeping those memories and thus having to live with the horror he witnessed and experienced, or start over and take a chance on what they have now...

Still. He moves his hands to take Billy's, squeezing the one that's wearing the ring he presented a year ago.]

Yeah... you're right. We'd pretty much start over again... But I'm sure that, even if we had to do that, I'd still ask you again. I'd ask again and again in every reality... or maybe you'll do the asking.

[selfhelp]

[Billy lets that sink in for a while, brows furrowing, until he finally relaxes and presses his lips to Teddy's in a slow, tender kiss. When he draws back again, he's smiling, even if it's somewhat bittersweetly.]

Maybe. They can make us forget all of this, but... I'm not going to forget how I feel. So... yeah. We'll be okay.

[halfnhalf]

I'm not too worried about it. [Teddy returns the smile, a bit bittersweet as well, and cups Billy's cheek while he's still close.] If there's one thing I learned here, it's that even if those Malnosso butts make us forget about each other, make us think we're different people or fall out of love? We keep getting back together before it all wears off. I think that says something about us.

[selfhelp]

A few things, mmhm.

[Billy sighs faintly and snuggles up close again, eyes closing. He's not really tired, but it's soothing to cuddle like this. He could lie like this for hours and not mind, with Teddy here.

It's a comfort, remembering that- the number of times they'd been forced apart for one reason or another and somehow always managed to circle back to how they were supposed to be again. If not all of that, what else could separate them?]

It might be kind of tough to ask me not to worry at all... but we can probably agree that there isn't much reason for it.

[halfnhalf]

[Teddy's always good for a cuddle session himself, always loving any sign of physical affection ever since the beginning. He gives a soft smile as a result as he shuts his own eyes and moves his hands again, one twining into his hair again while the other gently strokes the side of his neck.

If there's one thing he'll miss, it's how easily they could be like this. At the stage they were at back home, they were still getting used to open displays of affection, and Teddy never minded it, but... man. He's so spoiled by all this now, though he's sure they'll get back to it even if they don't remember. Still... It's something he'll miss and cherish.]

Mm, yeah... that's why I said we shouldn't worry too much. I know I sure as hell will worry.

[...]

You know, this means we can have a first time all over again.

[selfhelp]

Hahh... okay, that's something to look forward to.

[Not that it isn't fun every time regardless of experience, but there was something magical about their first time. If the cost of leaving is their memories, it's a decent consolation prize.]

Along with all the other new memories we get to make together.

[halfnhalf]

Mmhmmm.

[He can't wait for that, too. Starting the adventure over again, this time with their team, with Billy's family, with the faces of New York that he loves so much. Maybe they can put all the darkness of this place behind them, start anew as young teenagers who'd just fallen in love...

Aaah. Teddy lets out a quiet groan as he presses his forehead to Billy's shoulder, the hand at his neck stilling for a moment.]

I reeeeally wanna go back noooow...

[selfhelp]

Hey, come on.

[Billy chuckles quietly, reaching up to brush his hand soothingly through Teddy's hair.]

We've waited this long. A bit more won't kill you.